So here I start my three part rant about what life has taught me during my brief absence from blogging. The things I have learned about life; big and small.
Correlation does not mean Causation
Let me ask a question: If something looks like sweater, feels like a sweater, is it a sweater? ( I know this is probably a really bad analogy, but stick with me I have a point... somewhere). Just because a situation brings back haunting images of deja vu, does that mean the outcome will be the same. In the last couple weeks I have been guilty of judging a situation mainly by how it looked and felt so similar to something in my past. I was so myself up for the same response only to find that the outcome was totally different.
I felt so bad about judging prior to the outcome of the situation that I bemoaned myself for comparing. After some thought however ( and a talk to a close friend) I realized that I was falling to common human nature. In fact, without this ability we would not be able to avoid harmful situations. We as a species figured out what we could eat simply by eating everything. If the outcome was less than favourable ( pain, discomfort or death) we would know that that particular food was not really food. Everything about it was studied: shape, size, colour; even the attributes of the tree it grows on ( if it was a fruit). This information was then passed on through the generations to avoid eating anything that looked like it.
Similarly, when we are hurt, by someone's actions or words they are forever burnt in our minds so that if the situation which fits the past one comes up, we are ready and able to protect ourselves. This is not always a good thing. In my case, it meant that the person felt judged according not to their own merit but according to the past. This causes great instability, mistrust and most of all resentment. So how do we get out of this ingrained human habit? Time and patience. That is the only thing that can help. You need time to adjust to the new situation and for your body and mind to realize that even though some of the situations that may come along will look the same and feel the same, they may not end the same. So, until further notice you must give the person the benefit of the doubt. In a later case, another situation popped up which felt and looked like one from my past. However, as it happened, it occurred exactly how it did in the past. So the question begs to be asked: Should we really fight human nature? I'll leave that one for you to debate.
They Say "We Limin"
9 years ago